We had a crazy past two days of getting money, paying bills and doing shopping but for some reason we managed to get it all done so now we can just relax, which is good because it's getting colder outside and we don't want to do anything or go out unless we have to. This whole clock change still has me feeling off balance, it gets dark so early and I find I get more depressed, and so my doctor says she might try me on a new med when I see her next month to help with that. Anyhow I got tons of new stuff like 5 new junie b jones books, (they are my new favorite addiction!), a HUGE strawberry shortcake poster sized coloring book, and it even has a huge page of just stickers it's way awesomeness! And I got a raggedy Anne and Andy coloring book today and I thought that was pretty cool. And I got a Dora the explorer calendar for next year an that was fun too. and I also got a pillbox....that on the other hand was not fun, to realize I take so many pills a day that I have to organize them all into little slots to take 6 times a day is just nuts! And then to top it all off, I woke up this morning with a horrible sore throat, tonsils all swollen up and a fever that's come and gone all day, but I really am not wanting to be on antibiotics so I'm toughin' it out til Monday and if it's not better by then, then I'll hafta go see the doctor blahh
We found out our landlord is alot more sick then we thought when we first met him back in June when we started renting from him, we knew he had cancer, but now they say it's spread into his spine and his brain and he doesn't have much longer to live. I'm worried sick now, because his wife says they don't intend to keep the properties, they're going to sell them and that means potentially and very verrry likely they will get sold to our old landlord who did not like us at all so then we risk becoming homeless. And I really shouldn't be so worried about this til we actually talk to the landlord's wife more and such but it's just that I really hate this sooo much cause I'm so tired of always moving and never really having the security of knowing a place is really home....and I'm afraid of being homeless again......
Last thought for the night is about my family. Well actually about someone who usda be part of it an it's hard i guess to see people movin' on, it's hard to accept that after we stopped bein' family that they can just be able to move on, an deep down inside it hurts. But before I realized the hurt, I realized the rageful anger that welled up inside, and I wanted to bite and kick and scream mean things.....but tonight I learned a pretty amazing lesson. I learned that my family is always there for me no matter how I am feeling, and so when I thought I wanted to exploded, my auntie was there for me an it just brought me to tears, good tears, but just how awesome the love in my family is jus....is like wow....and so im still kind of in a deep fog of knowing how loved and cared about I am and just also kind of torn about another thing....but I won't go into that tonight, because I can only process so much emotion at once I think.
We found out our landlord is alot more sick then we thought when we first met him back in June when we started renting from him, we knew he had cancer, but now they say it's spread into his spine and his brain and he doesn't have much longer to live. I'm worried sick now, because his wife says they don't intend to keep the properties, they're going to sell them and that means potentially and very verrry likely they will get sold to our old landlord who did not like us at all so then we risk becoming homeless. And I really shouldn't be so worried about this til we actually talk to the landlord's wife more and such but it's just that I really hate this sooo much cause I'm so tired of always moving and never really having the security of knowing a place is really home....and I'm afraid of being homeless again......
Last thought for the night is about my family. Well actually about someone who usda be part of it an it's hard i guess to see people movin' on, it's hard to accept that after we stopped bein' family that they can just be able to move on, an deep down inside it hurts. But before I realized the hurt, I realized the rageful anger that welled up inside, and I wanted to bite and kick and scream mean things.....but tonight I learned a pretty amazing lesson. I learned that my family is always there for me no matter how I am feeling, and so when I thought I wanted to exploded, my auntie was there for me an it just brought me to tears, good tears, but just how awesome the love in my family is jus....is like wow....and so im still kind of in a deep fog of knowing how loved and cared about I am and just also kind of torn about another thing....but I won't go into that tonight, because I can only process so much emotion at once I think.
