9 days left til we can buy a heater, and it was 29 degrees when I woke up this morning brrrr!! I had to wake up at 8am so we could get ready to go to the doctor and I was just all nervous and antsy and I was kinda snippy to my mommy and so it just wasn't a good morning. But then captrans came, (those are lil buses that run to take people to medical appointments an stuff) and off we went! and it was so freezing even in the doctor's office, so they couldn't hardly get a good vein an stuff but then they did eventually and my blood sugar was good an my A1c was good(thats the number that tells a doctor what my blood sugar has been like for the past 3 months), and my liver levels are still elevated an cept my doctor says it's because of all the meds I take so my liver hasta work extra hard to pump them all through my system....an I kinda got a talkin to bout not goin to my eye doctor appointment an bout not goin to another specialist he wants me to see, but he also said I don't gotta go see him for 3 months so I'm super happy!!
And my mommy made this weird concoction last night, cause she was up all night an couldn't sleep, an it's like pizza dough with sauce cooked into it and then hamburger meat cooked into it and it's actually really good even tho it sounds weird, and so we ate that fot lunch. and then i just was lazy today and played lots and mostly just it was a quiet day for me after that.
I think I don't like how easily irritable i notice I am though, because I feel like such tiny things drive me over the brink, and i should be able to just let them go, but I don't and so they eat away at me. My caseworker says it's part of having bi-polar an when i am manic my brain is over stimulated, an cept it makes me go right back to how I was analyzing how my medication works, but today i was like....picturing my brain scraping off the nice healing salve on my frazzled nerves and instead just letting itself be mean and rude and full of this vile ugly energy. It still kind of disgusts me, even though I know I'm really not a mean person, it's just that, taking off the mask is still very revealing even to me, and having to just be real is so much harder then being bouncy.....anyhoo
Guess that's all for tonight cause I'm tryin' hard not to work myself into a major funk over all this....this time of year just is so blahh and I'm just waiting for this impending doom to crash down, and it never does, but I always feel like I'm waiting for something totally horrid to happen regardless.
And my mommy made this weird concoction last night, cause she was up all night an couldn't sleep, an it's like pizza dough with sauce cooked into it and then hamburger meat cooked into it and it's actually really good even tho it sounds weird, and so we ate that fot lunch. and then i just was lazy today and played lots and mostly just it was a quiet day for me after that.
I think I don't like how easily irritable i notice I am though, because I feel like such tiny things drive me over the brink, and i should be able to just let them go, but I don't and so they eat away at me. My caseworker says it's part of having bi-polar an when i am manic my brain is over stimulated, an cept it makes me go right back to how I was analyzing how my medication works, but today i was like....picturing my brain scraping off the nice healing salve on my frazzled nerves and instead just letting itself be mean and rude and full of this vile ugly energy. It still kind of disgusts me, even though I know I'm really not a mean person, it's just that, taking off the mask is still very revealing even to me, and having to just be real is so much harder then being bouncy.....anyhoo
Guess that's all for tonight cause I'm tryin' hard not to work myself into a major funk over all this....this time of year just is so blahh and I'm just waiting for this impending doom to crash down, and it never does, but I always feel like I'm waiting for something totally horrid to happen regardless.
