Hmmm.....some days, I should have tons to say, and like....I don't. Only it's those kind of days most of all that this aching longing to get all of these emotions out, seems to push the hardest at me. I went to see my caseworker today, and then right after that my councilor. It was neat to get to show off the new dayplanner I bought, it's pretty and colorful and it's got flowers on it and I like it lots, and I told her I bought a new desk chair and it was kinda neat, cause she was proud of me. And there was another thing too....that I'm only gunna write bout in my private blog, but when I told her I hadn't done this thing that was bad for me, in a week, just to hear the proudness in her words and see it in her smile was just absolutly amazing...it made me want to try to not do that thing for a whole other week now too! I don't know if i'm really strong enough to do it, and I'm kinda antsy feelin' bout messin' up, but I'm trying to worry about the right here and now, and not what might happen in a day or so.
We went on the walking group today again too, and so it was fun to get to do that, cept I have an ouchie thing on my foot so i didn't walk hardly at all an they hadda come get me halfway through. Somedays I do so good that I want to show off to all those doctors, and then some days, it gets so utterly hard and I get so scared of things creeping back into being bad and, it's just like I get all nervous and worried that I'll relapse again, and I'm just kinda....paranoid, I think it's because it's always been this time of year that I have gotten the sickest before, and so it's really just hard to not see this time of year in a positive light sometimes too like I should. And then halloween does not come with good memories for me at all, and that's just another thing I'm not quite ready to blog about yet.....
I'm just full of achy feelings I want to get out and I can't yet, but I wanted to post so people knew what was up, which is kind of a whole lot of nothing and a whole lot of everything all at the same time I guess.
We went on the walking group today again too, and so it was fun to get to do that, cept I have an ouchie thing on my foot so i didn't walk hardly at all an they hadda come get me halfway through. Somedays I do so good that I want to show off to all those doctors, and then some days, it gets so utterly hard and I get so scared of things creeping back into being bad and, it's just like I get all nervous and worried that I'll relapse again, and I'm just kinda....paranoid, I think it's because it's always been this time of year that I have gotten the sickest before, and so it's really just hard to not see this time of year in a positive light sometimes too like I should. And then halloween does not come with good memories for me at all, and that's just another thing I'm not quite ready to blog about yet.....
I'm just full of achy feelings I want to get out and I can't yet, but I wanted to post so people knew what was up, which is kind of a whole lot of nothing and a whole lot of everything all at the same time I guess.
