When I first entered this world of ageplay, this journey that led me to find out so much about myself, life wasn't full of family relationships. Back then I watched other people's families form, break apart and then reform, and I watched the few relationships that lasted, and I was oblivious to either, I didn't want any part of needing a Guardian....back then I longed for, and craved so desperatly for friends. and I made them quickly, but i still held them all at a distance. I didn't lay claim to brothers, sisters, cousins and aunts until just this past few months, and even then, I haven't done it lightly. So much has happened to me since I first found this part of me that feels 6. And it's not things that have happened to the big me, but things that have directly influenced who I am when I'm fully emmersed in being maya. I feel so vulnerable lately, like every little thing is really happening to a small child, a very real child in my heart who is being forced to deal with very big emotions and some of it just tugs at me and brings me to tears. I've never even been someone to cry so much before, but lately, I spend so much time doing that, it's like after having been held in for so many years of my life, the fact that for the first time ever i have this cocoon of safety, of people that care surrounding me.....and the flood gates just gush forth.
But anyhow, back to my original point, that very first innocent magic of just playing like crazy, fast paced, life passing by and just doing things like kids do without analyzing it, or thinking too much, just reacting like a kid would, is back for me again. And it's just so amazing! I love my fasmily, I love my friends and I love the way life feels now, full of life again and with so much joy and happiness. I mean life is eventually going to have it's downward turns and valleys but, I want to keep blogging, even when it's happy, because I want to remember these times later on when I do get sad, I want to be able to remind myself that the magic is still there, and that it's not really so much magic as it is lots of love....and being so very blessed.
~sprinkling some of that fairy dust around though just in case it helps it stay~
But anyhow, back to my original point, that very first innocent magic of just playing like crazy, fast paced, life passing by and just doing things like kids do without analyzing it, or thinking too much, just reacting like a kid would, is back for me again. And it's just so amazing! I love my fasmily, I love my friends and I love the way life feels now, full of life again and with so much joy and happiness. I mean life is eventually going to have it's downward turns and valleys but, I want to keep blogging, even when it's happy, because I want to remember these times later on when I do get sad, I want to be able to remind myself that the magic is still there, and that it's not really so much magic as it is lots of love....and being so very blessed.
~sprinkling some of that fairy dust around though just in case it helps it stay~
