Today, I woke up very early. Because I went to my very first walking group! Every week a group of people from the mental health center get together at the high school and walk around their track together. There were just two caseworkers, and one other lady there, but it still felt good to be around people, even if me and the woman walked really slow and it wore me out alot.
I got home, and I was still so energized! I thought I would be sleepy, but instead I find myself wishing and wishing my mommy would wake up and come do things with me. And when I asked her, when it would be ok to bother her again, she said not for 4 more hours from now!
~sighs~
I'm trying so hard to just stay quiet, do my own thing and give her time. Because if I bug her too much she will shut me out all day and I don't want that to happen. I want to really sit down and talk about stuff.....only I'm still very afraid too, I keep thinking I'm just going to make her mad at me for wanting to talk about, just stuff.
Me an her live together 24/7 for like 5 years, an cept we hardly ever actually just sit down and talk. And it's not because we're busy neither. It's because we both get depressed and shut each other out, and so my friends online know more about how I feel then she even does.
I want it to change....and so I keep hoping, and wishing that today can be different. but if it's not, there is always tomorrow.