I'm posting this a day late cause I wrote it up last night, but I couldn't acess the site then.
one week til we get money!~dances round just for special effect~
Today I went to see my caseworker, and it went really good, usually I'm super nervous, and I never know what to say around her and so I end up not really taking about the things that get on my nerves the most and instead just fumbling for words or struggling to say what i think she wants to hear. But it turns out she talks with my councilor about me, and so she wasn't weirded out when I told her about having an IK, and so when I finish this project about myself for my councilor, she wants to see it too! And she totally listened to me talking about how ageplay is for me, and just made me feel very positive about things, and she said having an innerchild definatly sounds like a good way for me to view life and so that took so many worries away from me, and I just felt so free then, because of all the people in my life who I might worry would say I was a freak, people like my councilor, caseworker and doctor are right at the top of the list, so now that they all know life just feels a tad bit less stressful for me, and I'm not so worried bout making this project look so perfect, in fact maybe I'll be able to take pics of it with my webcam and post it here when I'm done with it!
And I role played lots today, cause i do that lots everyday, but like today I was feeling really extra sensitive about something someone said to me, but then I actually told my friend that the way she was telling me about my typos and stuff made me feel, and we worked through it, and it was kind of weird to me to realize that a complete stranger can insult me, and I not even be phased, but when someone I care about a whole lot, thinks I'm doing something wrong I totally just freak out, and so i cried a tiny bit, and after that i just hid from most people, because this being extra-over sensitive lately is just not something most people can handle, and I respect that, they shouldn't have to be on the high alert for every single one of my triggers, it just means that I absolutly must hide and try to console myself, and it's hard because my mommy does so much for me in real life.....sooo much that when i am online, I constantly spin in circles wondering why she isn't there, and then I remember the talks me and her had about her not being able to be around, because she can't keep up with me, so then I hafta remember to let my big help me and.....people may think my big is a good Guardian but...~rolls eyes~ that still doesn't mean I wanna listen to her!~giggles~
I just feel a lot like I have something really big and important to say lately, but it won't come out, like i just need to cry, but I don't know what i have to cry over, it's just this achy longing in my heart, but I can't really pinpoint what it is. I really just want halloween to hurry up an come an go so I can get on with my year and not worry bout it for 12 more months again. On this role play group I'm on this girl and her brother are really super scared of halloween, so they invent a silly holiday of their own to replace it called purple day, and I wish I had the things around my house and I'd have purple day, or zoomy day or something....but now my thoughts are just spinning so I should end this for the night.
one week til we get money!~dances round just for special effect~
Today I went to see my caseworker, and it went really good, usually I'm super nervous, and I never know what to say around her and so I end up not really taking about the things that get on my nerves the most and instead just fumbling for words or struggling to say what i think she wants to hear. But it turns out she talks with my councilor about me, and so she wasn't weirded out when I told her about having an IK, and so when I finish this project about myself for my councilor, she wants to see it too! And she totally listened to me talking about how ageplay is for me, and just made me feel very positive about things, and she said having an innerchild definatly sounds like a good way for me to view life and so that took so many worries away from me, and I just felt so free then, because of all the people in my life who I might worry would say I was a freak, people like my councilor, caseworker and doctor are right at the top of the list, so now that they all know life just feels a tad bit less stressful for me, and I'm not so worried bout making this project look so perfect, in fact maybe I'll be able to take pics of it with my webcam and post it here when I'm done with it!
And I role played lots today, cause i do that lots everyday, but like today I was feeling really extra sensitive about something someone said to me, but then I actually told my friend that the way she was telling me about my typos and stuff made me feel, and we worked through it, and it was kind of weird to me to realize that a complete stranger can insult me, and I not even be phased, but when someone I care about a whole lot, thinks I'm doing something wrong I totally just freak out, and so i cried a tiny bit, and after that i just hid from most people, because this being extra-over sensitive lately is just not something most people can handle, and I respect that, they shouldn't have to be on the high alert for every single one of my triggers, it just means that I absolutly must hide and try to console myself, and it's hard because my mommy does so much for me in real life.....sooo much that when i am online, I constantly spin in circles wondering why she isn't there, and then I remember the talks me and her had about her not being able to be around, because she can't keep up with me, so then I hafta remember to let my big help me and.....people may think my big is a good Guardian but...~rolls eyes~ that still doesn't mean I wanna listen to her!~giggles~
I just feel a lot like I have something really big and important to say lately, but it won't come out, like i just need to cry, but I don't know what i have to cry over, it's just this achy longing in my heart, but I can't really pinpoint what it is. I really just want halloween to hurry up an come an go so I can get on with my year and not worry bout it for 12 more months again. On this role play group I'm on this girl and her brother are really super scared of halloween, so they invent a silly holiday of their own to replace it called purple day, and I wish I had the things around my house and I'd have purple day, or zoomy day or something....but now my thoughts are just spinning so I should end this for the night.
