I loat a very good friend and family member this past weekend. I don't want to go into tons of details about her, or about why she chose to shut me out of her life, I just need to let some of the grief out about loosing her. It was over something so very silly, that she said she was ok about one day, for many days and then the next she was flaming mad and ranting and raving at me and tearing me down in every possible way. My big did everything she possibly could for this woman, but she could not be the momma she wanted for her innerkids, she couldn't continue to lie and say she could. My big gained something so awesome thig past week, she adopted the little girl she has always wanted since the day she entered ageplay, and things feel so perfect and they just fit together, and the people who are truely happy for her and for me, they are who I need to be around and not someone who is so jealous that she did not get the same thing, that she can't share in our joy. That is simply stated not the sign of a true friend. and I can't allow myself to apolygize for doing what makes my heart happy, I just can't.
I was her friend for almost 2 years, but a time comes when I have to realize that I can't let myself be forced to be something I am not, I was always working so hard to be good enough for her and then finding myself in tears when she critisized my efforts. and she is likely telling the world lies upon lies about me, but I have risen above that now, I've moved on and I have what makes my life complete, I don't need her, I dont need that hurt. It's over....it will still hurt, it likely always will, but I can't keep letting her destroy my life.
